Women in War

"... testimonies from survivors confirm that rape was extremely widespread and that thousands of women were individually raped, gang-raped, raped with objects such as sharpened sticks or gun barrels, held in sexual slavery (either collectively or through forced "marriage") or sexually mutilated. According to witnesses, many women were killed immediately after being raped.Rapes were sometimes followed by sexual mutilation, including mutilation of the vagina and pelvic area with machetes, knives, sticks, boiling water, and in one case, acid..."(Rwanda, 1996)

"Two Akha girls, taken from their rural village by Burmese troops and used as army porters, could not have imagined the lethal brutality they would face during their forced internment... The two of them had been raped continually for six nights by two or three men each night, including the soldiers' commander." Despite the multiple serial rapes, said the headman, the teens were still forced to labour all day as army porters.The troops gang-raped all the women for two days and two nights. After that, all the 99 villagers were reportedly killed by the soldiers." ( Burma,1996)

"...the investigators said they had confirmed the rapes of 168 women during the riots, of whom 20 had died during or after the assaults. They said they presumed that many other women had either fled the city or were too traumatized to report their rapes. Some victims have been cowed into silence by threats or by rumors of another round of attacks and rapes, the investigators said. Others have committed suicide. And they said they had heard reports of additional rapes and sexual assaults in the weeks after the riots. Most of the attacks, like most of the looting and arson, were directed against the ethnic Chinese minority, which often becomes a scapegoat in times of conflict or hardship in Indonesia." (Jakarta,1998)

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In Memoriam: Pak Man

Pak Man. Dialah tukang kebun dirumah saya. Sudah menjadi bagian dari keluarga selama 20 tahunan lebih. Sejak saya masih TK atau SD kelas 1-2, saya sudah mengenalnya. Dia selalu datang setiap weekend, membersihkan tanaman dan rumput, juga mengerjakan apa saja. Orangnya rada pendek, gendut, baik, lucu dan sangatlah loyal. Dulu pernah saya ngambek seharian gara-gara tukang bakso langganan gak dateng hari itu. Pak Man-lah yang akhirnya dengan sukarela membonceng saya di atas sepeda kumbangnya, mengelilingi komplek perumahan sambil mengempit rantang buat bakso hasil buruan kami. Bahkan waktu kita sekeluarga meninggalkan kota Gresik dan pindah ke Surabaya, dia juga tetap setia ikut dan datang setiap Sabtu kerumah yang baru. Jadi ingat waktu dia mulai jatuh cinta. Pertama dengan mbak Kotim, pembantu tetangga depan rumah. Akhirnya Pak Man memutuskan mengawini mbak Lastri, pembantu tetangga samping rumah. Pestanya kecil-kecilan, di desanya di Pacitan. Kami sekeluarga datang, ikut bahagia menyaksikan dia di atas pelaminan.

Dia juga selalu ada di setiap moment-moment penting di keluarga saya. Waktu kakak saya married, acara sukuran pas kakak saya lulus S2, atau cuman acara arisan mama, dia selalu ada. Anehnya,kmaren waktu kakak saya lamaran, dia gak datang, katanya malu. Malu? Sejak kapan dia jadi pemalu? Ada- ada aja Pak Man ini. Dia juga terlihat sedih dan gak banyak bicara ketika datang ke rumah,seminggu yang lalu. Dia lebih banyak diam dan seperti menjaga jarak dengan orang-orang dirumah.

Kmaren hari minggu jam 9 pagi, kakak saya menelpon dari Surabaya. Saya baru bangun ketika mendengar kabar duka itu. Pak Man telah kembali ke pangkuan-Nya. Innalillahi. Pak Man meninggal beberapa menit setelah motor yang dinaikinya menabrak pohon di deket rumah saya. Tidak ada luka apa-apa di badan atau mukanya. Tidak ada darah setetespun, tapi nyawa Pak Man tetap terenggut pagi itu. Papa-mama saya langsung ke RS untuk pengurusan jenazahnya dan dibawa pulang ke Gresik, ke rumahnya. Saya menangis, tak percaya rasanya. Masih saya ingat benar senyum dan suaranya yang khas. Saya lupa kapan terakhir kali bertemu Pak Man. Yang saya ingat, waktu itu dia menyapa, "Eh,mbak Pebi!!" dengan lengkingan suaranya. Tidak banyak bicara, saya cuman sekedar menanyakan kabarnya saja. Seperti biasa, saya terlalu cuek.

Dia pergi di usia 44 tahun, meninggalkan istri dan 2 anak. Smalam, saya menelpon Papa. Saya mo kirim duit buat istrinya, dan kirim doa tentunya. Dan sebelum tidur, saya sempat terbayang raut mukanya. Sebuah doa saya panjatkan untuk Pak Man.

Selamat Jalan, Pak Man
Semoga arwahmu diterima disisi Allah SWT

Happy Ied Fietri

A day before the big day, Ied Fietri, I returned home. My flight was early, 6 am, too early for the excitement of holiday actually. Airport wasn't as packed as last year but it still wasn't empty aswell. I left Trav for couple days, gave him more spaces to enjoying his freedom. I bet,he liked it, even missed me bugging him for doing something like i normally do. Ied was okay, nothing different like the years before. Still woke up early, did the big pray or we called 'Ied Pray' at the mosque, in front of my home, then had big brunch with everybody in the family. After that, i sneaked out and had my ciggies. My auntie came with her family in the afternoon which I didn't excited to meet. Why? Cause I hate my cousins from that family. They are fake girls who act like stupid c*ws. Well, they always have the same face, the same smile that hangs on their face everytime there's a family gathering like that. I know they will talk about us (my family) behind our back. But,hey...it's Ied, I should be nice,rite? So, I just hanged out for awhile then decided to back to my computer and checked my emails. It was more fun than looking at their d*mbfaces.. :)

Anyway, I was happy to meet my friends. Had a small reunion at Epha's house the next day. It was fun. Last time we hanged out like that was like 3 years ago. So many changes, so many differences but we all still laughing like we used to. There were Rezia,Epha,Yani,me, Lulu' and Vieska. Rezia, she's married with one cute son (reyhan). Then Epha,my bestfriend since first day in Uni, she also married with one son (Hafidz). Yani, a kinda complicated girl who just broke up with her British boyfriends. Lulu's also one of my bestfriend who married last year and still acting like a single..hehe. Last one is Vieska, met her from uni and she's getting marry this December.Well, they all married and have kids. They all talking about how expensive the education for kids nowadays. They all said that their marriage is not as great as it looks. But they all looks happy, at least in front of me. I'm happy for them as much as I'm happy to be free doing whatever I want without worrying leaving my kids or husband behind.

The next day, I went out for dinner with Zee and Shita. They are my bestfriends from the other side. Zee is already married and living in Japan. Shita is still single, busy with her work and her new spiritual activities. It was so much fun to meet them again, especially Zee cause we only meet up every once a year. Dini and mbak Titi didn't make it cause they still out of town. We used to meet up every thursday nite after work about 3 years ago. So close and intimate that makes every one of us feels like we are sister and there's a bond that connected in us. Then we started to breaking up, separated in different way and place. Zee married with the American navy and moved to Japan. Dini got new job and moved to Malang. Me also got new job and moved to Jakarta. But once in awhile, when I back home, we used to hang out like we always do, except Zee of course. Then everything is change, we move on, have different view of life.

Three days after Ied, I went to Bali, met up with Trav and his mum there. We drove around the island. Stayed in uluwatu one nite, in really romantic resort on top the cliff. It was fun like usual. I'm glad had chance to spend time with Trav's mum, Nancy. She is really nice lady. I mean, I kinda have warm feeling everytime I'm around her. So comfortable and loved. I like her a lot. Trav's dad is nice and cool man aswell. Like them both, of course. We had good time in Bali.

We also celebrated Trav's birthday in Ubud. We went to nice restaurant called Terazo for dinner. The food was great, wine also nice and the best was the dessert. We ordered 'Chocolate Attack' which is a tray fills with different kind of chocolate. I tell you..it was really really good. Trav and his mum knows about chocolate very well. Trav love dessert like I love my nintendo :) so it's kinda tricky to impress him with dessert. But, they love it. Look at the picture, don't you think it's so yum? Anyway, I think he enjoyed his day, that's the most important thing,rite?

Now I already back to Jakarta, back to work, and back to reality. Next weekend, me and Trav are going to back to Surabaya,again. It's my sister big day, engagement day. I'll tell you what happen later on after I come back. Almost new year,guys. So many things to do and prepare. I'm getting excited. Have a great day..everyone.

"My Friends Are Getting Married, I'm Just Getting Drunk"