| Sunday, September 21, 2003 |
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 Another sunny day!! I went to the computer market today with Duncan and Danie, his mate. Actually, I'm not that interesting to go there with him, it must be boring..that's what I thought. He was okay when I said I don't wanna go, then he said, "You know what, there's guy who love computer very much but his girlfriend doesn't. But she still go to the computer market and holding his hand. She's there just because she wanna spend the time with him. Could you do the same thing for me?" His words goes to my heart and slapped it pretty hard. Felt so guilty, cause he always be there with me everytime I hanged out with my friends. I know, he's not really like some of my friends, but he still there and hold my hand. That's why I was there with him today. Maybe I'll be bored but I will holding his hand for sure. And you know what, actually it was pretty fun there. The stuffs is much much cheaper than the store. And I fell in love with one cute mouse and a small MP3 player. I wanna buy it, but not now. Maybe next month, cause I have to save my money.
Afterwards, we went to the beach. Yeaaa...I love beach. Actually I wanna go to the Luna Park, but I prefer go to the beach first. Maybe next week I'll go the Luna Park. Luna Park is like Dufan, smaller but it's okay. After beach, I did my laundry. Then back home. I'm pretty tired but I had a good weekend, so that's more important,right. Ok, I better go to bed now, have to work tomorrow. Damn...I don't wanna go to work but I don't have any choice. Nite..nite,sleep tight tonight. |
me at 7:51 PM
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| Friday, September 19, 2003 |
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IT'S SCHOOL HOLIDAY!! Actually my holiday start next monday, but today's class is cancelled, so I got extra days for the holiday. Yesterday I did my marketing test which was pretty good, hehehhe..I wrote too much bullshit about marketing stuff. I hate marketing. And my yoga class lastnight was little bit different, cause Helen, my teacher wasn't there. We got a new teacher who is have different way for each posture, but I can cope with it, just little bit different. Then met Duncan afterwards, bought some liquids and back home. You know what, he's addict with Indomie now because of me,hahhaha. He loves those fried noddles.
I dreamt about my mum lastnight. She was telling me to back home soon, and it's kind a weird. I'll call her today, make sure everything is alright at home. Maybe she miss me, or she wanna talk to me. I miss my mum, sometime. Especially when I'm sick, or being lazy to cook my food. Sometime, my mum could be the most annoying person but sometime I miss her like hell. Since my dad staying home all the time, my mum is change. She's cool, fun and understanding. We used to go shopping together when I was at home. And the only things that always be the same everytime I back home is she always spoil me with her cooking. Yummy foods will be ready for me all the time. I know I made her sad many time, she cried hundreads time for me, but she never hate me. She always forgive me, she forgive everybody who hurt her heart, that's why I'm so proud of her. I remember, when something terrible happened in my family, I know it was broke her heart,but my mum always smile and said that everything is okay everytime I asked her. I know, she wanna tell me but she don't want me to get hurt aswell,so she sacrificed her feeling for me. That time I knew what going on, it broke my heart too, but if my mum can be that strong, why I can't do the same thing?
You know what,Guys...we are owe too many things to our mum. We owed them a thousand tears, and hearts broken. So, wherever you are now, never forget your mum. Never hate your mum whatever she ever said to you. Those nasty and bad words will make you grow wiser, believe me, I know that.
No matter where I am, no matter what I do, I always thinking about you. I'll make you proud,Mama. I'll make happy, I promise. Please, forgive me for all I ever done, all the bad things that cut your heart all the time. Miss you,Mama. |
me at 11:29 AM
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| Sunday, September 14, 2003 |
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There's something that I learnt last night. Never expect anything more than you can't have. NEVER!!! Every person is just different with each other. They have they own way to say and express their feeling. And what we can do is accept the differences and believe that there's must be a reason behind the truth.
But, sometime I have a problem with accepting the reality, especially when it knock me back with pains. When I care and love with someone, I wanna be with that person all the time and that's my problem. And it's  really hurt when someone say, "I need some time to be alone." It's does cut me badly. I feel rejected and it's pushing me away. I rang Rezia lastnight, we laughed and talked about the old times. It feel so comfortable when you have someone that can understand you. I don't need to say much about my fe
eling and she will know what's on my mind straightaway. I guess, I'm lucky to have a friend like her. We can talk anything that we can't shared it with the others. We can laugh and talk freely, no excuse..no fear..and no secret. I'm glad I can talked with her lastnight.
Weekend is over. Maybe I should think about my changing plan seriously before I decide whether I'll stay here longer or back home for good. Stay longer, find more knowledge, experience and happiness. Or back home, find a job and start build my own future. I know, it's up to me, but still there are many things around me that I have to consider. Don't let this little disappointment ruined everything. I'm not going to let it break my heart again. No more tears, cause when love is hurt, it won't work. |
me at 9:16 AM
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| Saturday, September 13, 2003 |
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IT'S WEEKEND, YEAAHH!! Finally, yesterday I went to cinema for 'Finding Nemo'. I love the movie, it was great animation and touching story aswell. Poor Duncan, he was pretty tired after work but still tried hard to make me happy with watched that movie. After that, we back home by tram...gossiping and laughing like usual then we had dinner in indonesian resto near home. Everything was perfect yesterday.
Today's my mum's birthday. I rang her 10 o'clock in the morning, wishes a great birthday for this year. It's the third time I can't celebrate her birthday, cause I have to be here and there...far away from home. Sorry,Mama...I hope I can make it next year. Mbak Ly missed her birthday too, cause she's in Jakarta now. She sent me sms, said that she miss 'nasi kuning' too. In my family, we have a tradition for birthday. Every member of the family's birthday, my mum always cook a complete nasi kuning which is a yummy yellow rice with all the dishes. We also give the birthday present and no excuse to forget about it. This year, I missed 4 birthday that are mbak Hap, Papa, Mama and mbak Ly birthdays.
Duncan is go to his friend's birthday party now. I don't wanna come, and I don't know why,actually. Maybe I just too afraid that I'm going to be bored in there. It's not good, I should come with him, be there and get to know his friend too. Well, I'll come next time, hope so. He'll come to my place after the party, and maybe we are going to do something fun afterward. Rezia sent me an sms just before, telling that she in music concert now with Epha and Tia. So jealous, wish I can be there with them, must be fun. So bored, I just watched 'Antz' in telly, it was okay..not bad for saturday night. Now...what should I do next while waiting for Duncan? Sleeping? Yeah..right, I slept a lot today. Lazy bum!! Anyway, have a nice weekend, Everybody. |
me at 7:13 PM
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