| Saturday, November 29, 2003 |
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..BYE ASSIGNMENT..Woo hoo...I finish my last assignment,finally!! I done my Accounting exercises lastnight, finish about 2 am, then I slept. Woke up this morning, feel nothing except a bit empty, dunno why, then watched Rage with my ciggies. Hmm..what a quite weekend this time. Tonight, my ex houseparent invite me to their party, so I better come, otherwise I'll end up alone again tonight. At least, I can laugh and talk with them tonight. I'm going home about next week, still feel nothing. No excitement or something, just nothing. I guess, it's my blank time,huh. At least I finish all my school's task, just one more test and I'll get my freedom...woo hoo!!
Yesterday, I talked a lot with Jason. His mum passed away yesterday. I went to hospital with him, then we went to Airport cause he has to fixed all the procedures to bring his mum back to her home country, Thailand. I never seen him that sad before. He wasn't crying that much, but I know, he's not that tough. So, I did whatever I can to help him ease the pain. I tried to make him laugh with my stupid jokes, it did work for awhile. Poor Jason, I wish I can do more to help him. He called me lastnight, about 12, before his flight take-off. And I still remember what he said to me before he hang up the phone. "I wish I can make her happy, I wish I can see her smile again. You know what, you'll never know what you have until it's gone." After that, I felt so sad. I can't imagine if that happen to me. If God take my mum away, I'll be lost. So, I wanna call my mum now, just wanna hear her voice.
I got too much pressures lately. I'm sick of all of them, so now, I don't give shit anymore. I'll do whatever I wanna do, and I'll take whatever I can get. No regret, no pain and no tears. Wanna get piss tonight, so I can laugh on my problems out load. Have a great weekend, hope yours better that mine. |
me at 9:34 AM
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| Tuesday, November 25, 2003 |
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 I woke up this morning and felt so empty inside. Alone and sad, I tried to force myself to go to the kitchen and made a cup of coffee. With my cigarettes and hot coffee, I sat in the kitchen table and looked outside of my window. It's clear and beautiful day outside, but inside me, it's just as grey as the smoke from my cigarettes. Back to my room again, turn on my internet and I sang "Lebaran song" with my ugly morning voice. "Minal aidzin wal faidzin. Mari bersalam-salaman, mari bermaaf-maafan." I just remember those lyric. I'm so far far away from home, but I'm sure they are remember me as much as I remember them,today.
**Minal aidzin ya,Pa,Ma,mbak Ly,mbak Hap, Gilang, Billa and all of my friends. Me missed my family so much today**
HAPPY IEDUL FITRI, EVERYBODY
Please forgive me, for every single things I did that may cause you pain |
me at 6:57 PM
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| Thursday, November 20, 2003 |
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Hari ini asli aku yang tegang mulu ampir seharian. Hari ini aku ada presentasi markerting jam 9 pagi teng. Jam 8 udah siap jali nungguin tram buat ke bus stop. Tramnya dateng telat setengah jam, abis gitu bis dateng telat 10 menitan. Nyampe kampus jam 9 lebih 5 trus langsung lari2 ke library dulu soalnya Dana udah nunggu disana. Udah udaranya panas, bikin keringatan dan bikin tambah BT. Ternyata Dana gak seberapa siap ama bahannya, duh...tobat..tobat!! Udah narik napas panjang *tehnik bernapas ala yoga* buat ngilanging panik. Pas nyampe kelas, mentalku langsung down gara2 liat semua pada dressed up dan aku cuman pake kaos plus jeans selutut ditambah ama sendal jepit. Kepanikan udah melanda kita berdua dengan hebatnya, antara maju terus ato pulang dulu ganti baju. Dana mah enak, rumahnya deket kampus, na aku...lumayan jauh. Pengen nangis deh rasanya, soalnya presentasi ini nilainya 50 % dari keseluruhan. Akhirnya nelpon Duncan dan alhamdulilah...dia gak masuk kerja hari ini soalnya masih sakit. Langsung deh dia mutusin jemput aku dari kampus, balik kerumah ganti baju dan balik kampus lagi. Benernya gak tega soalnya dia belum sembuh betul, tapi dianya ngotot jemput, ya udah. Duh, dia bener2 nyelamatin nyawaku hari ini pokoknya. You're the legend, Naughty.
Akhirnya berhasil juga presentasinya, not bad soalnya Dana sempet grogi dan lupa ama yg mau dia omongin. Untung aku ngerti dikit, jadi aku sambung bagian yang mestinya dia presentasiin hari ini. Pyuh....I was so close to fail this presentation.
Pulangnya ujan deres, tapi nervous dan panikku udah ilang. Cuman mungkin masih kebawa mood panik, aku yg rada2 uptight gitu seharian. Mo nya marah2 mulu, mana Dana bego banget sih hari ini. Hihihi...sorry,Bitch, didn't mean to say that.
Anyway, beban final year mulai berkurang satu per satu, tinggal 3 assignment dan 2 test lagi, then I'll be free. Can't wait until the day I finally can enjoy the summer.
Udah jam 4 nih, mesti mandi dulu. Mo nganterin Duncan ke dokter dulu. Oia, besok juga gak ada kelas jadi bisa long weekend dah. Tonight, I'll be the pisspot with Duncan...hahhahaha. Bad Girl...Bad Habit...But Happy..!!! Ta..Ta |
me at 12:03 PM
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| Tuesday, November 11, 2003 |
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 Ramadhan this time is bit different than before. More difficult, challenging and tough. I have so many things to do before the end of this months, and sometime I feel like I can't finish them all on time. My final year is so tiring. So many assignments, reports and presentations. I did my big presentation yesterday. It was okay, I did pretty good eventhough I have to waited from 8.30 to 3.00 for my speech turn. We all dressed up and looked different. I love it. I love seeing a guy wearing suit and tie,hehehe. But, I didn't do any flirting stuff yesterday cause I'm too busy with myself. I finished everything about 5 pm, and Dunc came pick me up 6.30. I was in Dana's place while waiting for Dunc, and both of us so tired and sleepy.
I'll be at home alone after this, cause my housemate going back home. Mmm...how about party? Hahahha, yeah rite. I learnt a lot lately from Dunc. We were arguing a lot about everything, but it's not makes us apart. We're still same, closer than before. I think I'm lucky to have him. He's not moslem but he's really understanding and supporting me a lot. That's make me happy, even I know we're different. Now, I don't care anymore. What makes us different? It's just religion, everybody deserve to stick with what they believed,right?
I don't feel good today. I need more rest. Have a nice day,Everybody.. |
me at 11:45 AM
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